Decision Time

Faced with change, once again…  I have never been one to shy away from change, in fact I welcome it.  I believe that change is always positive, if not immediately so, it usually proves itself to be for the greater good further down the road. 

For a while now, I have been contemplating a major career move (again!).  Over the past two and half years or so I have been travelling the world working as a yacht stewardess.  As of late, I have been humming and hawing over whether or not I am ready to give up this lifestyle and all the amazing experiences it provides. 

There are so many aspects of yachting that I love.  Travelling to exotic locales, living and working with an international crew, constantly meeting new interesting people with the same travelling spirit are just a few of the perks.  But as amazing as my yachting experience has been, it does have its share of down-sides; inability to make any plans in advance as the boat’s schedule changes on a whim (sorry Mom, I can’t make it home for Christmas this year), having little to no alone time living in tight quarters with 9 other individuals (buh-bye daily meditation and mental sanity- ha!), working many consecutive days in a row without a day off (our most recent trip lasted about 49 days give or take), and other miscellaneous items not worth getting into.   As with any job, there are positives and negatives, but I do have one more reason.

To be absolutely honest, the main reason I am contemplating a change is this; I am feeling restless, I want more.  To put it all out there, I deeply desire a new opportunity that will fully embrace who I am, and encompass what I am truly passionate about.  These past two plus years have been oh-so-wonderful, and absolutely irreplaceable, but I feel I have simply outgrown it, or at least this current job I have.  Perhaps this is the most difficult reason to accept, because it doesn’t provide a clear, cut and dry reason as to why it is time to go, but rather a feeling, a knowing.  We all have experienced this at one time or another, whether it was regarding a job, a relationship, etc.  It is easier to make a decision upon facts and figures, but when your desire for change is based on nothing more than your feelings, how do you decide?   Do you hang on to what is familiar because it “works”, or do you decide to stretch out your unused wings and soar? 

I know what my heart is telling me.  My head is utterly confused.  To add to my confusion, two days ago we were informed that our Captain will be leaving and a new one will be starting shortly.  All crew members need to decide immediately if we would like to stay on under the new Captain or leave.  And I say “decide” loosely because we are not actually guaranteed to keep our jobs if we opt to stay.  It is under the new Captain’s digression.

Surely, this latest circumstance is a blessing in disguise.  I am simply being pushed to make my decision quicker than I had anticipated and get this ball rolling already.  Perhaps it is time to head in the direction of my dreams.  I didn’t think I was quite ready to leave my warm cozy nest just yet, but life may just have other plans in store for me. 

It’s decision time, do I stay or do I go?  Head?  Heart?  I am listening…