Find Your Space

Have you ever found yourself at a loss, feeling fragmented, over-loaded, over-whelmed, or scattered?  And you can’t quite put your finger on what is skewing your energy?

Usually when I am feeling this way, the first thing I know I need to do is to “Find My Space”.   Of course, this has multiple meanings, both needing to find a place of peace and calm within my own self, but also, most often to attain that, I need some time in an actual physical place of peace and calm in order to find my own clarity once again.

Of course this can be done in many ways, sitting quietly in a favorite room, or heading out of your home to a nearby coffee shop, or by simply going outside and spending some time in nature. 

Although, often, to get to the root of your disconnect, all you need to do is take a look around you.  Around your immediate space.  Take a look at your home, bedroom, closets, work desk, what have you.  What is that space saying to you, and about you, energetically?  How does its current state reflect what is going on inside of you?  Often times, when our mind feels chaotic, our personal space reflects that chaos with clutter, uncleanliness, and/or old items that we have long outgrew but hang onto for one reason or another.

So now it is time to find your space and reclaim it as your own.  Reclaim it as a peaceful refuge for your mind, body, and spirit to reside.  Honor that space, respect that space, and see THAT as the reflection of you.  Honor, respect, and pride.  In your space and in yourself.

This week, I have been desperately needing to clear my overloaded and overwhelmed brain.  As I looked around my current living situation, I could clearly see the direct reflection in my immediate space.  Still not decided which caused which, a classic case of the chicken or the egg, but what I do know is that both my mind/energy and my physical space were directly affecting one another.

So in order to clear my brain, I needed to clear my space.  Operation:Overhaul!!!

After having just moved back into my mother’s place last week, I found myself overwhelmed trying to fit all my belongings I had brought back with me from the boat into my already full closets and bookshelves at my mom’s.  As I told my mom, I felt like I was trying to move into someplace that someone was already living in.  And in a way, I was moving into someone else’s place, with someone else’s things.  The old me. 

I have been traveling and living aboard boats for the past four plus years, and before that, I had homes and apartments, with a roommate or with my then boyfriend.  I had a lot of stuff from my various homes, so when I left to do yachting, my mom’s place became not only my own personal storage space, but also the official dumping ground for all my things I didn’t want or need to have with me, but also wasn’t ready to let go of.  Things I wasn’t able to let go of because it might come in useful later, or I had spent a lot of money on it, or because I had once really loved it, or some other reason.

After futilely trying to fit all of my current “things” into a closet full of used-to-be’s, I stopped for a moment, in the middle of a critical sort-session, sitting on my floor with items scattered all around me in piles and messes, and I looked up at my heaving closet which was threatening to explode at any moment, showering me with sweaters and tops and scarves and jeans, galore, I thought to myself,  “It’s too much. Too much stuff.  Way too much stuff.”

And the more I uprooted, the more undealt with stuff I discovered, the bigger mess I made, and the more overwhelmed I felt.  Old paperwork, old photos, electronics, CDs, clothes.  Clothes.  Clothes.  Geez, and I just went through a huge purge three months ago after completing the Camino.  Where are all these clothes coming from?  Clothes for every season and in-between season you can imagine.  Island clothes, city clothes, MN clothes, hiking gear, you name it, and it all was scattered about, looking quite literally like a tornado had whipped through my room.  Oy vey.  Where was my shelter?

Looking myself in the mirror and feeling utterly defeated by the task at hand, wading through piles of stuff, I asked my tired, worn-out, lost refection, “What are you doing?”  And in that very moment, thank the Lord, a clear and simple answer came to me.  Such a simple plan of attack.  Take all of this stuff OUT of my room, out of this immediate space, out of this cross-fire of new vs. old, and put it in a neutral space to sort after I get my room squared away.

And so the schlepping began.  From my room to the neighboring family room, which luckily for me, is rarely used.  I hauled it out.  All of it.  All the things I was humming and hawing over, all the paperwork I just didn’t have the energy just now to sort through, all the wall hangings and décor, everything. 

Then turning my focus back to my now nearly empty room, I cleaned the beep out of it, from top to bottom.  All the while telling myself I was making a space to welcome my spirit back home to.  A clean, uncluttered space that is truly reflective of me, now.  Not me 4 years ago, or of me two years ago, but of ME now, and of the ME I am becoming.  Hells yeah!

So I cleaned, then I set things up how I wanted them.  I told myself nothing from the family room is coming back in here until it is sorted, I have decided it belongs in here, and it has a proper home to stay in.  Otherwise, it is going somewhere else (in my actual storage area in the basement), or I am letting it go.  Releasing it.  Saying goodbye to the things I no longer need.  Give these things the opportunity to bring happiness to someone else.  Because all this extra unneeded stuff is only dragging me down.  By setting this “stuff” free, I am simultaneously setting myself free.

Anyhow, this major move just happened yesterday, but once I had my room cleaned and organized, I immediately felt the peace return.  I could breathe again.  Deeply and fully.  I actually WANTED to spend time in this room now rather than run from it.  And instead of feeling overwhelmed by this space, it now inspires me. 

My "Manifesting Station"

I turned each dresser top and bookshelf top into a sort of manifesting station.  In a non-cluttered, Zen sort of way, of course.  Atop of one of my low bookshelves, I strategically placed a stack of books with titles representing my next adventure.  The titles being, “The Sacred Sites Bible,”  “Tales of a Female Nomad,” “Creating Money,” “The Power of Now,” "Your Heart's Desire," and “Sacred Places.”  On top of this stack of books, I placed a beautiful large clear quartz crystal to further magnify the energy that these books hold.  Perhaps you can guess what it is I am trying to manifest?  To travel the world, visiting sacred sights, then sharing my stories with others through either the written or spoken word.  However that may be.   I hope, hope, hope to find some sort of paying gig for this!  What an amazing career and life that would be!  Whoo-hoo!!!!

Atop of my nightstand, I have my lamp, with a small dream catcher hanging from the on/off knob, and a small stack of books about New Zealand, and on top of the books sits a beautiful heart-shaped stone I had found along the path while walking the Camino this past Spring.  This little “manifesting station” is to help manifest the trip I hope to take to see my friends in New Zealand later this year.  So every night before I close my eyes, this will be the last thing I see.  And hopefully my dream catcher will “catch” some great ideas from my subconscious on how I can make this a reality.

A big WHEW!, and a Hallelujah! to finding my space and making it my own again.  ;)  That phrase, “Find Your Space”, has come to mind on many occasions when I have felt foggy-brained or unclear, and often times all it takes to feel clear-minded again is to simply and quite literally do just that.  Clear your space.  Clean your space.  Honor your space and honor yourself.  Release old things that are no longer you so that you can create the space for something that is.  Something that is YOU, NOW.  So who are you now and who do you hope to become?  Find Your Space and find out.