Blessed

Blessed is a word I didn't ever use in the past.  I used to feel it was too “churchy” for me and that it was only used by the most devout religious folk.  To put it with least tact, I used to find the word itself to be somewhat annoying.  Leaving a bad taste in my mouth and in my brain.  But lately, unbeknownst to me, that "annoying" little word has somehow snuck itself into my vocabulary and I have found myself using “blessed” more and more.  Although I still use it, “luck” began to feel a little emptier.  Leaving the arrival of good things up to nothing more than mere chance.  While “blessed” began to feel like it had a sense of deservingness behind it.  In knowing that I am deserving enough of good things to come my way, and therefore, they do.  Realizing that there doesn't have to be any church-attachment to its meaning.  So now, I use the word blessed more often because in certain cases, there is no other word more appropriate.  Because I have realized I am blessed.  And I am so grateful for it.

Play time with my camera

I am so blessed to be doing what I now have the chance to do.  This past month, I have put my time and my energy into writing a book for a contest through a publishing company that has published perhaps a majority of the books I own.  I would be honored and humbled to have such an opportunity of publishing with them as well. 

I am trying to write an entire book in 3 weeks (yeah, I know), and I am not sure if I will be able to do so.  I am trying my darnedest, though.  But whether I complete my book in this time slot or not, I am excited  about it, and I love the direction it is heading.  Even though the deadline looms only 4 days from now, I credit the past 3 weeks for having jump-started my desire to both start and now to finish this book.  Whether it’s on the contest’s timeline or my own.

I also have realized how much I LOVE “being” a writer.  There is almost nothing else I would rather do than write.  Ok, fine, yes there are many other things I love to do, but as I told a co-worker on my last day of work one month ago, “I have to write.  I couldn’t live if I couldn’t write.”  As shocking and as bold as the words sounded coming from my own lips, I knew it was true.  Writing means so much to me, to my being, my heart, and my soul.  I love it.  I love it.  I love it.

So not only do I feel “blessed” for having the time and opportunity to be pursuing my dreams, but I am infinitely blessed to have such a strong support system backing me as I take this leap.  I am blessed beyond belief with gorgeous friends and family members who believe in me and encourage me to continually be my best.  Allowing me to do what  I feel I need to do, no matter how crazy and out of the norm my ideas and tactics may be.  I am so lucky to have people in my life who recognize me for who I really am.  They don’t try to change me, or make me feel bad in any way for being who I am.  They love and support me.  And appreciate me for exactly who I am.  Not for who I was a few years back, or for who I may someday become.  But appreciate me for who I am right now, today.  Big dreamer, head in the clouds, fault-filled, (and oh-so blessed) me.